out of sorts comes mixture of dribble…don’t ask….Rebecca Lambour Rudolph
Tagged: Don RSS
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presiterrr
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majensta
Don’t let excuses set your limitations
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Kazeronnie Mak
Don’t let your life pass you by…….
Be a good Samaritan ! -
Julie411
“Don’t ever let your surroundings limit your capabilities”
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Divyachv
“Don’t ask for Sacrifice when ‘U’ can’t do a Favour”
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Matt
Quotes on Attitude
A Crisis is when people show their True Colours.
A good soldier does as they’re told.
“A man without passion is only a latent force, only a possibility, like a stone waiting for the blow from the iron to give forth sparks.” – Henri-Frédéric Amiel (Philosopher)
“Action and Adventure – It’s good for the blood!”
Adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful.
Always try to have a positive outlook on life.
“Aspire to inspire before you expire.”
“At least I’m consistent.”
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.
Be generous in all things.
Be Loyal to your own Clause.
Be the one who put’s the Writing On The Wall.
Be ‘Your’ Best but always be prepared to Do Your Worst.
Being ‘A Star’ or being ‘World Class’ is a state of mind – You define who you are.
Being realistic is learning to balance your hopes against your fears.
Believe in Yourself.
Believe that you will live to fight another day!
“Blaming everyone else only takes away from you the control over your own life.”
“Can we make the Final Word a pleasant one please?”
Celebrate your gains and grieve your losses.
Charity is overcoming your own selfishness and suspicion by sacrificing and being selfless through understanding.
“Come on, what are you waiting for?”
Comedy is Observation.
Comfort Zone – Some people thrill at being outside theirs. Some people shrink and reinforce theirs. I’d prefer to work at constantly expanding mine.
Conclude with a plan or, at least, a moral.
Confidence is entertaining a room full of people.
“Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means to push back a boundary-line and adding to one’s liberty.” – Henri-Frédéric Amiel
Courage could turn what could be a bad memory into a good one.
Count your blessings, it could be worse.
Diplomacy is thinking twice before saying nothing.
Do it all, if you can!
Do it because you think you can’t.
Do it for the experience.
Doing ‘nothing’ is still an option but then you are, at least, aware of where you are.
Don’t burden people with your problems; inspire them with your solutions.
Don’t impose but share your views when asked.
Don’t over analyse situations – It is what it is.
Don’t put the World on your shoulders, you can’t do it all!
“Don’t take it all to heart.”
Doing the right thing should give you piece of mind but doesn’t always.
Drag yourself out of your own pit.
“England expects that every man will do his duty” – Battle of Trafalgar – Lord Nelson 1805.
Even when we think we’ve found our place in the world, we can still feel a little lost every now and again.
Every day brings choices – you can choose to be a winner or a loser. If you experience each one though then you will appreciate the other – This is Balance.
Everyone always thinks that they are right and that they are the good guys.
Everyone’s entitled to an opinion.
Everyone has a chance.
Expect nothing, and then you will not be disappointed.
“Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder” – George Washington (1732-1799)
Fulfil your childhood dreams – “It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”- Randy Pausch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
Generosity is Sacrifice.
“Happiness is Helping”.
Have a Method to your Madness.
Have Fun! – It’s only a game!
“I believe it incredible good fortune that you are born at all when you consider the cosmic odds. I sincerely wish you stay lucky.” *
“I believe there is the determination and the will to do it and I believe we will have a good day.” – Mo Mowlam
I can resist anything except Temptation.
“I challenge you to make the person next to you smile.” *
“I don’t believe in the no-win scenario” – Kirk
If it’s easy then it’s probably not worth having/doing.
If you can’t give someone help, give them a laugh.
“If you can’t stem the tide then ride the wave.” *
If you can’t please everyone, at least, please yourself.
“If you can’t joke with someone, then how can you trust them?”
“If you ignore my truths, then you will find your own to follow.”
“If you want happiness then when the opportunity presents itself try to help, at least, one person a day.” *
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion” – The Dalai Lama
“If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing” – You will Ooze Success!
If you’re a kid – don’t speak to strangers; If you’re a grown up – don’t be afraid to speak to strangers.
If you’ve got it – use it.
“If you’ve nothing nice to say about someone, then say nothing.”
If you set your mind to it then you really can accomplish anything.
It’s a shame to waste the potential if it’s there.
“It’s every life form for itself” – The Stainless Steel Rat.
It’s great to be on top of the world but it’s a long way to the bottom and your Ego can help you go either way.
It’s natural to want to be happy – So do whatever makes you happy.
It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice. (This is not a game of who the **** are you! – Eddie Izzard – Death Star Canteen)
It’s ok to wish people “A Good Day”.
Keep your feet on the ground and your head out of the clouds – “Great Kid; Don’t get Cocky” – Han Solo
“Know thyself.” – Socrates (Greek philosopher)
Know when to Fight; Know when to Accept.
Know when to Stop!
Learn to take the Rough with the Smooth.
Learning to Balance is learning to be Wise.
“Let’s turn it around.”
“Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; Dust thou art, to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul.” – Grave in St Nicholas Church in Sutton, Surrey. (A Psalm of Life – see below)
Like Buddha, have a polite, considerate, respectful and humble attitude.Like Buddha, “Meditate, Live purely, and be quiet. Do your work with mastery and like the Moon, come out from behind the clouds and Shine!”
Make a difference, don’t be indifferent.
Make the days full of something, in case the end appears as all for nothing.
“May you work hard having fun and have fun working hard.” *
More Action; Less Drama.
Never be ashamed of what you’ve had to do, where you come from and where you live and work now – These things help define who you are.
“Never tell me the odds!” – Han Solo
“No man is justified in doing evil on the grounds of expedience” – Theodore Roosevelt
“No one likes a Smart Ass.”
“No Risk; No Fun”.
Nothing can prepare you though for when it happens and how it will affect you.
Nothing focus’s the mind more than when you have to eat excrement.
“Now! What have you got for me this time?” – 11th Doctor Who
Pass someone you know in the street? Pass them a smile or a compliment. Then it’s up to them if they want to pass it on.
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” – Buddha
People try to overcome their disabilities before their disabilities overcome them.
“People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.” – Stephen Hawkins
“Play up! Play up! And play the game!” – Henry Newbolt – Vitaï Lampada (see below)
“Positive Thought is more powerful than Negative Action.” *
Practice what you preach.
“Preparation is Everything!” *
“One should never do wrong in return, nor mistreat any man, no matter how one has been mistreated by him.” – Plato (his Golden Rule) – Student of Socrates.
“Onwards and Upwards!”
“Ready? I was born Ready!” – Jack Burton – Big Trouble in Little China
Respect is the cement in the wall of our society that helps it stand against anything thrown against it.
Respect your elders and those who have experienced more, they might be younger than you.
Respond helpfully and compassionately, especially to your own thoughts.
“Savour our ‘tastes’, for they are the maps of our lives.” *
“Say what you see” – Straight talking – “What’s the real reason?”
Scandal; while embarrassing and showing an insight into character, does it really prevent us from doing our jobs? – “It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.” – Abraham Lincoln
Smile, it relaxes people.
Smiling is sipping from the fountain of youth.
Smiling is the first step to being beautiful.
“So, when a problem first arises, try to remain humble and maintain a sincere attitude and be concerned that the outcome is fair. Of course, others may try to take advantage of you, and if your remaining detached only encourages unjust aggression, adopt a strong stand, This, however, should be done with compassion, and if it is necessary to express your views and take strong countermeasures, do so without anger or ill-intent.” – Tenzin Gyatso; The Fourteenth Dalai Lama
“Some people think I’m Bonkers; But I just think I’m free; Man, I’m just livin’ my life; There’s nothin’ crazy about me” – Dizzee Rascal.
Success is coming back after every set back.
Success is measured in happiness.
Survive! – Hang in there!
STOP! Stop, Take inventory, Orientate and Plan.
Take the moral high ground but don’t sell yourself short.
The end of one era is the start of another.
“The grass must bend, when the wind blows across it.” – Confucius
The only thing stopping you is you …
The people that influence who we are, are our Parachute Packers – They may never know that what they did was so useful, so if you get the opportunity, thank them. And what you do influences others, so pack their parachutes well for when they need them. – Compilation from Charlie Plumb (Former Navy Fighter Pilot – P.O.W) – see below.
The person to compare yourself to is in the mirror.
“The successful will profit from their mistakes and then try again in a different way.”
There are people though who just don’t want to listen to what you’d like to say.
There may be times when you are a victim of an injustice – OPQRSTUV – Oh no-It’s not fair, Protect yourself and those with you first, Quick-Call the Police then the Insurance, Recover physically (hopefully), Secure against it re-occurring, Talk about it to those close to you, U didn’t do it-they did!, Victim Support.
There should be times though when “Sweet Justice” is served.
“This is going to take Crackerjack Timing. Besides, It’s all in the Reflexes” – Jack Burton
Throw open those curtains and let in the light!
Tick off the Good days; Cross off the Bad ones.
To be grateful for all that you have and for anything anyone is kind enough to give you.
“To make it fair, everybody has to do their share.”
Try to be your best but don’t get obsessed.
Try and play the best with the hand you’ve been dealt.
Unthinking! – Makes you a hero or an idiot.
Watching the world go by is fine, but in the meantime; don’t watch your own life go by.
We all face the same challenge; whatever opportunity and choice present us with.
We all have “Moments of Madness” or “Lose the Plot” every now and again.
We all have to go at some point, but not today!
We all need to be taken down a peg or two every now and again.
We all nothing, without Love.
We have to help people less fortunate than ourselves.
We overcome evil by simply helping to build a better world.
“We shall carry on, regardless!”
We’ve all been/felt lost at one time or another in our lives.
“Weigh your disappointments against all your successful appointments.” *
“What goes around; comes around.”
When we are disheartened, disillusioned and fatigued; they say “A Change is as good as a Rest.” to refocus.
“When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a very bad place to be. Your critics are your ones telling you they still love you and care.” – Randy Pausch
When you’re in younger years you can’t dictate; When you are in your senior years, you must. It’s the only way of getting your own back.
“Where there’s a will; there’s a way.”
While it may be comfortable, don’t leave your head in the sand.
“Yes, I am breaking my own rules here!”
You’re only as old as the person you feel
“You’re bullets cannot harm me, my wings are like a shield of steel” – Batfink
You can only be Yourself; you are Unique!
You can’t give 100%, 100% of the time.
You can’t have an answer for everything.
“You can’t see the Rainbow until you’ve experienced Life’s Sun and Rain.” *
“You learn something new every day”.
You may go from strength to strength but be prepared to take one step forward and two steps back.
You set the standard others may choose to follow.
You wanna save the World?; You wanna make a difference? – Starting by being helpful and showing a little compassion!
“You were Fantastic! And you know what? So was I!” – 10th Doctor Who
Have some attitude quotes of your own? Or any other quotes for that matter? Share them!
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hercolena
Be better than the rest. Be the best. Don’t argue – destroy those you detest.
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Matt
As My Mom Use to Say…
“Another hurdle over”
“Be Grateful for small mercies.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers.”
“Don’t leave it to the last minute.”
“Don’t push your Father too far; He’ll turn.”
“I don’t like to see waste.”
“It’s all go isn’t it”.
“It’s always such a rush, isn’t it?”
“It’s never straightforward is it?”
“Give me Strength!”
“Never a true word said in jest”.
“Never a dull moment”.
“Much appreciated”.
“Patience is a virtue”.
“Pluck up your Courage.”
“Pride comes before a fall.”
“Out with the Old and In with the New.”
“Rules are there for a reason”.
“Slow but sure”.
“Start as you mean to go on”.
“Sometimes you just have to give way.”
“Take care of the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.”
“You’ve got to have a laugh.”
“You can’t do it/keep it all.”
“You can’t just Live on Love.”
“We live and learn” and “That’s a lesson learned”.
“We all trying, very trying.”
“Whatever Next?”
As Dianne says, “Bounce Back!”
As Dianne says, “Everything happens for a reason.”
As Dianne says, “You reap what you sow.”
As Dianne’s Father says, “All good stuff!”
As Dianne’s Father says, “Every little helps, said the old woman who pee’ed in the sea”
As Dianne’s Father says, “I can’t tell you how to live your life, you’re big enough now to make your own mistakes but I’ll be here for you if things go wrong.”
As Dianne’s Father says, “I’m having a Senior Moment.”
As Dianne’s Mother says, “You don’t get owt for nowt.”
As Dianne’s Grandma would say, “There’s nowt so queer as folk.”
As Dianne’s Grandma would say, “Don’t owe the tally man.”
As Judge Dredd would say, “Everyone’s guilty of something.”
As my favourite Auntie says, “Be well grounded.”
As my favourite Auntie says, “Live like a Prince.”
As my favourite Auntie says, “Trust that the Universe will provide.”
As my first boss used to say, “I’m going to live to be at least 100.”
As my French friend Xavier would say, “What a Life, what a Wonderful Life!”
As my old Irish friend, Pat, would toast, “Happy Days!”
As Nan would say, “These things are sent to try us”.
As Nan would say, “Waste not; want not.”
The last thing my Nan said to me, “You’re a Good Boy! Be a Good Boy!”
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Visitor
When Cockroach is alive, It eats Ants. When It is dead, Ants eat Cockroaches. Time can turn at any time. Don’t neglect anyone in your life ! Spread love, be happy and live happy .
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friskarg
It’s amazing how many simple things in life we are taking for granted. Don’t let it be taken away from us first till we realize the joy of the present. Because before you know it, the present will turn to the past. I sure hope the past won’t turn into regrets.
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Visitor
Don’t risk everything for no potential gain.
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Asim Zaman Al-Sayyed
If you are a pessimist. PLEASE DON’T INCLUDE ME IN YOUR WE.
Asim Zaman Al-Sayyed -
Visitor
“Don’t force me to be Good….. Don’t force me to be Bad…… Don’t force me to be anything….I am a Civil Engineer…….I have become Feasible….”
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sboard
Don’t let a good distraction become a bad habit.
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Asim Zaman Al-Sayyed
Don’t rely on someone else to fulfill your dreams because they are your dreams.
Asim Zaman Al-Sayyed -
Asim Zaman Al-Sayyed
Don’t tell anyone he is wrong. Just show him the right way and make it easy for him to walk on it.
Asim Zaman Al-Sayyed -
c.c. stoynoff
Don’t speak my name again, it doesn’t belong to you anymore…
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freakinTEEjay
Don’t be unhappy with you life when all you ever did was let others take the wheel for just one more turn.
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Matt
Hilarious quotes from the hilarious movie, The Hangover. If you haven’t seen it get, GO RENT IT!
Stu Quotes From The Hangover
“Am I missing a tooth?”
“I look like a nerdy hillbilly!”
[singing]: “What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don’t you worry your pretty striped head, we’re gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we’re gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we’re gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he’s been murdered by crystal meth tweakers, well then we’re s–t out of luck.”
Stu: He was a bartender, and he didn’t even come inside her.
Phil: And you believe that?
Stu: Uh yeah, because she’s grossed out by semen!“We’re not going to leave a baby in the room. There’s a f—ing tiger in the bathroom.”
Alan Quotes From The Hangover
“I’m a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I won’t ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don’t care what happens. I don’t care if we kill someone.”
Stu: “She is wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.”
Alan: “I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”Phil: “Whose baby is that?”
Alan: “Check its collar or something.”Stu: “Everyone says Mike Tyson is such a badass, but I think he’s kind of a sweetheart.”
Alan: “I think he’s mean.”“Next week’s no good for me. The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it’s totally fine.”
“Not at the table, Jose!”
“Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon.”
“Counting cards isn’t illegal. It’s frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane… Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!”
“It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.”
“Ha ha! Drivin’ drunk. Classic.”
Stu: “We’re in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?”
Alan: “I think the cop car part’s pretty cool.”Stu: “You are literally too stupid to insult.”
Alan: “Thank you.”Phil: “Whose f__king baby is that?”
Stu: “Alan, are you sure you didn’t see anyone else in the suite?”
Alan: “Yeah, I checked all the rooms… no one’s there. Check its collar or something.”Stu: “Here’s something I would like to remind you two of: our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth head butt-f__king his corpse!”
Alan: “That’s highly unlikely.”Alan: [while Doug parks the car] “Did you have to park this close?”
Doug: “Yeah, why?”
Alan: “I just… I can’t be here.”
Doug: “What do you mean?”
Alan: “I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a church… or a Chuck E. Cheeze.”Black Doug: “I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you’re more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em groundies.”
Alan: “Or rapies.”Phil Quotes From The Hangover
“Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.”
“It’s Phil, leave a message. Actually, you know what, don’t text me. It’s gay.”
Tracy: “We’re getting married in five hours.”
Phil: “Yeah … that’s not gonna happen.”Stu: “Why can’t we remember a godd___ thing from last night?”
Phil: “Because we obviously had a great f___ing time.”Phil: “Would you shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. Who’s this?”
Doug: “It’s Alan. Tracy’s brother.”
Alan: “I met you like four times.”
Phil: “Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?”Have some hilarious movie quotes of your own? Share them at SubmitYourQuote.com!
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Matt
From quotesfromtheoffice.com here is a great collection of quotes from the crazy Dwight Schrute on the TV Show “The Office” (Seasons 1-4).
Season 1
Pilot:
Dwight Shrute: Dammit, he put my stapler in Jell-O again!
Diversity Day:
Mr. Brown: At Diversity Today, we believe it’s very easy to be a hero. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect, and open-mindedness.
Dwight Schrute: Ah, excuse me? I’m sorry, but that’s not all it takes to be a hero.
Mr. Brown: Great, well, what is a hero to you?
Dwight Schrute: A hero kills people, people that wish him harm. A hero is part human and part supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster, that must be avenged.
Mr. Brown: Uh, you’re thinking of a superhero.
Dwight Schrute: We all have a hero in our heart.Pam: [during a role-playing exercise] Okay, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe..not be a very good driver.
Dwight Schrute: [role playing as an Asian] Aw, man! I’m a woman?Health Care:
Dwight [Reading suggestions for health-care coverage: Who thought of this one? Anal fissures.
Kevin Malone: That's a real thing.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah, but no one here has it.
Kevin Malone: [quietly] Someone has it.Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, ‘Ow, I hurt my leg. I can’t run. A lion eats me. I’m dead.’ Well, I’m not dead. I’m the lion. You’re dead.
Dwight Schrute: The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won’t receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis….Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.
Dwight Schrute: OK, first let’s go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael Scott: Uh, none. You’re picking a healthcare plan.Dwight Schrute: Someone forged medical information, and that’s a felony.
Jim Halpert: OK, Whoa, alright ’cause that’s a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they’re fake?
Dwight Schrute: [reading from a sheet] Uh, Leprosy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection.The Alliance:
Dwight Schrute: Did you get your tickets?
Jim Halpert: To what?
Dwight Schrute: The gun show. [kisses bicep]Back to Top
Season 2
The Dundies:
Michael Scott: I was on a hot date with a girl from HR, Dwight…
Dwight Schrute: Really? We don’t have any girls in HR.
Michael Scott: You know for the sake of the story…and things were getting hot and heavy…
Dwight Schrute: Yeah!
Michael Scott: And I was about to take her bra off…
Dwight Schrute: Yeah!
Michael Scott: And she made me fill out six hours worth of paperwork.
Dwight Schrute: Like an AIDS test?
Michael Scott: No. God, Dwight…Sexual Harassment:
Dwight Schrute: What does the female vagina look like?
Toby: Technically, I am in Human Resources, and Dwight was asking me about human anatomy. Um… I’m just sad the public school system failed him so badly.Office Olympics:
Dwight Schrute: Thank God. It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a 9-bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range. It’s the perfect situation for me, although two bathrooms would have been nice. We just have the one…and that’s out under the porch.
Dwight Schrute: A 30-year mortgage at Michael’s age essentially means that he’s buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.
Dwight Schrute: Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to the local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm…sometimes teenagers use it for sex.
Dwight Schrute: I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like…Mozart’s friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like…Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
The Fire:
Dwight Schrute: FIRE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Phyllis: You say that every week.
Dwight Schrute: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!
Oscar: Relax.
Dwight Schrute: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BURN VICTIM!?Dwight Schrute: Everyone. OK, I have an announcement. Apparently in business school they don’t teach you how to operate a toaster oven. Because some smart, sexy temp left his cheese pita on “oven” instead of timing it for the toaster thing. [holds up burnt pita and laughs maniacally]
Halloween:
Phyllis: [to Dwight in costume] Are you a monk?
Dwight Schrute: I’m a Sith lord!!The Fight:
Dwight Schrute: [indicating his purple belt] This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.
Kelly: [practicing a karate move Dwight taught her] HI YAH! Hey that was pretty close!
Dwight Schrute: Good, now let me take you from behind.
Kelly: WHAT?!Michael Scott: Look, Dwight here is a wuss. When we rented “Armageddon”, he cried at the end of it!
Dwight Schrute: Michael, I told you! It was because it was New Year’s Eve and it started to snow at exactly midnight!
Michael Scott: [As Dwight crying] “Oh, are they really gonna leave Bruce Willis on the asteroid? Boo-hoo!”Dwight Schrute: I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
The Client:
Dwight Schrute: Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of “Oklahoma!” in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that. I was good.
Performance Review:
Dwight Schrute: [sitting on a giant rubber ball] You should get one of these.
Jim Halpert: No, thank you.
Dwight Schrute: Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb, and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
Jim Halpert: Done.
Dwight Schrute: This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. [bumps picture on Jim's desk] Sorry.
Jim Halpert: It’s all right.
Dwight Schrute: Numerous health benefits: strengthens your back, better performance at sports, more enjoyable sex.
Jim Halpert: You’re not having sex.
Dwight Schrute: [smirks] Plus, improves your reflexes. [knocks over knick-knack on Jim's desk] See, I would have caught that.
Jim Halpert: Okay, you know what, how much is that?
Dwight Schrute: It’s only 25 bucks.
Jim Halpert: Wow. Um, okay. [pops orb with a pair of scissors, causing Dwight to crash to the ground]Dwight Schrute: Oh, hey. Listen, Jim. Here’s a little tip for your performance review.
Jim Halpert: Okay.
Dwight Schrute: Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.
Jim Halpert: We don’t have double-tabbed manila file folders.
Dwight Schrute: Oh yes we do.
Jim Halpert: No we don’t.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah, it’s a new product. So you should just suggest that to him, and then he’ll be sure to give you a raise. [smirks at camera]
Jim Halpert: All right. [pause] Well, I’m not asking for a raise. I’m going to actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Jim Halpert: Then I win.Email Surveillance:
Dwight Schrute: I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff I can look up anyone’s psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections…there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we’re downriver from that old bread factory…
Christmas Party:
Dwight Schrute: Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas.
[Kelly kisses Dwight]
Dwight Schrute: What are you doing?!
Kelly: I don’t know
Dwight Schrute: You shouldn’t do things like that. A man is supposed to do that.
[Angela looks in the distance]Booze Cruise:
Dwight Schrute: ["steering" the ship] Don’t worry Michael, I’m taking us to shore!
Michael Scott: It’s a fake wheel, dummy![Jim put Dwight's wallet into the vending machine]
Dwight Schrute: Where’s my wallet?
Jim Halpert: Oh there it is, ‘J1′.
Dwight Schrute: I don’t have any…
Jim Halpert: Here, have some nickels.
Dwight Schrute: [putting nickels into vending machine] 5, 10, 15, 20, 25…Captain Jack: I need a volunteer to come up and hold my stick.
Dwight Schrute: Me me me!
Captain Jack: Ah. Usually it’s a woman.
Dwight Schrute: I’m stronger.Dwight Schrute: Seasick? Captain Jack says you should look at the moon.
Michael Scott: Captain Jack’s a fart face.Angela: Hey, come inside and talk to me.
Dwight Schrute: I can’t! Do you want us to run aground woman!?Dwight Schrute: I was the youngest pilot in Pan Am history. When I was four, the pilot let me ride in the cockpit and fly the plane with him. And I was four, and I was great and I would have landed it, but my dad wanted us to go back to our seats.
Dwight Schrute: [Singing] What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor, Early in the morning?
The Injury:
Michael Scott: Please stop popping my cast. Thank you.
Jim Halpert: So where are you shipping your foot?
Michael Scott: Ha ha ha, so where are you shipping…
Dwight Schrute: Your foot.Michael Scott: Dwight, what is your middle name?
Dwight Schrute: Danger.
Michael Scott: It’s something with a “K”…
Jim Halpert: It’s Kurt… wow, it’s so sad that I know that.Dwight Schrute: Chu chu chu chu.
Jim Halpert: What are you doing?
Dwight Schrute: Vietnam sounds.The Secret:
Michael Scott: Dwight! Hey is it me or does this place smell like updog?
Dwight Schrute: What’s up dog?
Michael Scott: Gotcha! Hahaha, oh god… crap. Nothin’, how you doing?
Dwight Schrute: Good, how are you doing?Dwight Schrute: Merideth, men’s room. Make sure you replace the urinal cakes, they are worn down.
Kevin, file drawers… Angela kitchen, Oscar dusting. Where’s Oscar?
Angela: He’s out sick.
Dwight Schrute: That’s unacceptable.
Angela: I agree, it’s unacceptable.
(Dwight and Angela stare at each other)
Kevin: What are you guys doing?Dwight Schrute: Listen temp. I’m conducting a little investigation. So I am no longer going to be able to head up Spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it?
Ryan Howard: Yeah, I think I can handle it.
Dwight Schrute: Do you think, or do you know?
Ryan Howard: I think.
Dwight Schrute: Oh God, here.Dwight Schrute: There are several ways to tell if a perp is lying…
The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hand, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire. Unfortunately I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful.Michael Scott: It’s graaaaaaaaaaapppppe, soda!
Jim Halpert: Tony the Tiger.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Jim Halpert: You don’t hear that much anymore.
Michael Scott: Not so much.
Dwight Schrute: What is going on here?
Michael Scott: Nothing.
Dwight Schrute: Oh, really, nothing? Fact: You are drinking grape soda. You never drink grape soda. Fact: You are talking to Jim. You never talk to Jim.
Michael Scott: Fact: I love grape soda, I always have. Fact: Jim and I talk all the time. We tell each other secrets.
Dwight Schrute: Ok, so what is the secret Michael?
Michael Scott: Well I ah…
Jim Halpert: Umm, I had asked Michael if I could head up the Oscar investigation and he said that only Dwight was capable of handling such sensitive material. (sticks pink post-it note on Dwight)
Dwight to Michael Scott: Is that true?
Michael Scott: Umm, I – I don’t know… yeah, yeah… it is.
Dwight Schrute: Thank you Michael. I know you’re telling the truth.
Michael Scott: Ok
Dwight Schrute: I can tell, I won’t let you down.Dwight Schrute: As a volunteer Sheriff’s Deputy I’ve been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me, so I tailed her for six nights straight. Turns out.. she was. With a couple of guys, actually… so. Mystery solved.
Dwight Schrute: Oh man! You are so busted! Ice skates… shopping bags… I think I know what’s going on here. You weren’t sick at all!
The Carpet:
Michael Scott: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah… the old bullpen.
Dwight Schrute: Ha, ha, ha
Michael Scott: The old bullpen. Don’t hate me.
Dwight Schrute: Ok
Michael Scott: This is great.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah
Michael Scott: The pressures of my office are insane. I just… you couldn’t understand, but man you guys have it easy out here. You know I used to site right here.
Dwight Schrute: No way
Michael Scott: Yeah
Dwight Schrute: And who had your office?Michael (whispering): Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Michael.
Michael Scott: Let’s send up Accounting.
Dwight Schrute: What?
Michael Scott: Old fashioned raid, Sales on Accounting.
Dwight Schrute: Hah, hah, hah.
Michael Scott: Follow my lead.Boys and Girls:
[Dwight and company are decending into the warehouse for a 'mens-day']
Dwight Schrute: Remember on Lost when they meet “the Others”?Valentine’s Day:
Pam: Sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means, instead of what it is.
Dwight Schrute: You mean … like a ham?
Pam: No. Not like a ham.Dwight Schrute: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
Dwight Schrute: What’s this on my desk?
Jim Halpert: It’s a box.
Dwight Schrute: But who left it here…and to what purpose?Dwight Schrute: It’s me. I’m the bobblehead!
Dwight’s Speech:
Dwight’s Speech: BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! [pause] Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation – which everyone finds during the day – how long we have been striving for greatness? [bangs fist] Not only the years we’ve been at war – the war of work – but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle [bangs fists again] a never-ending fight, I say to you [bangs again] and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! [applause] Salesmen of north-eastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. [even bigger applause as Dwight gives a horrible sounding laugh] No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesman – and women – of the world… unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together… TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND…
Audience: …FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL!
[thundrous applause]Jim Halpert: Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Dwight Schrute: I can travel anywhere, except Cuba, and I will travel to New Zealand and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and I will hike Mount Doom.Take Your Daughter To Work Day:
Michael Scott: The kids don’t wanna hear some weirdo book that your Nazi war criminal grandma read to you!
Sasha: What’s a Nazi?
Michael Scott: ‘What’s a Nazi?’?
Dwight Schrute: Nazi was a fascist movement from the 1930′s–
Michael Scott: No no no! Don’t talk about Nazis in front of– You know what? They’re gonna have nightmares so why don’t you just shut it?
Dwight Schrute: I was gonna teach the children how to make cornhusk dolls.
Michael Scott: [sighs] Why don’t you just leave? Okay?
Dwight Schrute: Okay.
Jake: Bye Mr. Poop.
Michael Scott: Alright. There goes Mr. Poop. Now, who likes Dane Cook?Michael’s Birthday:
Dwight Schrute: OK, that is not an eight-foot sub.
Delivery Boy: Uh, we don’t make an eight-foot sub. This is eight one-foot subs.
Dwight Schrute: F.Dwight Schrute: (After he didn’t tip the sub man) Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
Kelly: I can still remember when Princess Diana died. Oh my god, that was the saddest funeral ever! (softer) That, and my sister’s.
[Dwight and Angela speak in "code" to hide their office romance from Ryan]
Dwight Schrute: What about that meeting later…to discuss finances?
Angela: …Yes. (whispered) But don’t expect any cookie.
Dwight Schrute: (whispered) But what if I’m hungry?
Angela: (whispered) No cookie!Drug Testing:
Dwight Schrute: OK. I’m going to have to search your car. Give me your keys.
Ryan Howard: I am not giving you my keys.
Dwight Schrute: Don’t make me do this the hard way.
Ryan Howard: What’s the hard way?
Dwight Schrute: I go down to the police station, on my lunch break. I tell a police officer (I know several) what I suspect you may have in your car. He requests a hearing from a judge and obtains a search warrant. Once he has said warrant, he will drive over here and make you give him the keys to your car, and you will have to obey him.
Ryan Howard: Yeah, let’s do it that way.[Viewing a picture of marijuana]
Creed: That is “Northern Lights” cannabis indica.
Dwight Schrute: [sighs]. No, it’s marijuana.Jim Halpert: I’m just saying you can’t be sure that it wasn’t you.
Dwight Schrute: That’s ridiculous. Of course it wasn’t me.
Jim Halpert: [holds up picture] Marijuana is a memory loss drug. So maybe you just don’t remember.
Dwight Schrute: I would remember.
Jim Halpert: How could you, if it just erased your memory?
Dwight Schrute: That’s not how it works!
Jim Halpert: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight Schrute: Knock it off! OK, now I am interviewing you!
Jim Halpert: No, you said that I’d be conducting the interviewing when I walked in here. [raising voice] NOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH POT DID YOU SMOKE?[Dwight is dressed in a deputy's uniform]
Jim Halpert: You look cute today, Dwight.
Dwight Schrute: Thanks, girl.Dwight Schrute: I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions.
Dwight Schrute: And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t.
Dwight Schrute: Do you know what this is?
[slides a picture of marijuana on the table]
Phyllis: Yes. It’s marijuana.
Dwight Schrute: [raising voice] How do you know that?
Phyllis: It’s labelled.
Dwight Schrute: [whispering] Damn it.Michael Scott: Okay, attention everyone. The drug testing has been cancelled. Instead I will be going around to each of you, and doing a visual inspection.
Dwight Schrute: No, you can’t do that.
Michael Scott: I can do that, it’s my office…and…
Dwight Schrute: [interrupting] No you cannot. It has to be official, and IT HAS TO BE URINE.Dwight Schrute: You might remember testing my urine a few years back, when I was applying to be a volunteer sheriff’s deputy.
Linda: We test a lot of urine.
Dwight Schrute: Mine was green.
Linda: [disgusted] Oh, right. How are you?
Dwight Schrute: All better.Michael Scott: So, you are all going to have a drug test. And I am not.
Dwight Schrute: No, you will be tested.
Michael Scott: Yes, I will not be.
Dwight Schrute: No, you will be. That is the law, according to the rules.
Michael Scott: OK, well, Dwight, just know that I’ve been very busy today, and I’ve got a lot of work to do, and I wasn’t planning on going to the bathroom, and I don’t even know if anything’s going to come out.Conflict Resolution:
Jim Halpert: This came out really well. There you go.
Dwight Schrute: This is humongous. I am not a security threat. And, my middle name is “Kurt”, not “Fart.”
Jim Halpert: [squinting to read] What did I write?Dwight Schrute: Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffle bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
Casino Night:
[Dwight is wearing a tuxedo]
Pam: It’s a nice tux.
Dwight Schrute: I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so… family heirloom.Dwight Schrute: Michael said, ‘We must deceive them, as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them.’ Jim Halpert: Ever since I was a little kid, like eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind.
Dwight Schrute: I don’t believe you, continue.Back to Top
Season 3
Gay Witch Hunt:
Dwight Schrute: Jim told me you can buy gaydar online.
Michael Scott: That’s ridiculous.
Dwight Schrute: Probably. He didn’t tell the truth a lot.
Michael Scott: Let’s call him and get the website.
Dwight Schrute: Definitely.Michael Scott: I need to know who else is gay. I don’t want to offend anyone else.
Dwight Schrute: You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.
Michael Scott: Yeah. I’m sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.The Convention:
Michael Scott: Wow, what are all those stains?
Dwight Schrute: Blood, urine or semen.
Michael Scott: Oh, God. I hope it’s urine.Dwight Schrute: (referring to Jerome Bettis) Why do they call him “The Bus”?
Michael Scott: Because he’s afriad to fly.The Coup:
Dwight Schrute: [crying] The Sebring is cool! The Sebring is so cool! Please don’t fire me Michael, I’ll do anything!
Michael Scott: Hey, I thought you weren’t supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you’ve had a crown put it?
Dwight Schrute: …They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding.
Michael Scott: Oh? sounds like a good dentist.
Dwight Schrute: Yea…
Michael Scott: What’s his name?
Dwight Schrute: (long pause) Crentist.
Michael Scott: The dentist’s name is crentist?
Dwight Schrute: Yea.
Michael Scott: Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight Schrute: Maybe that’s why he became a dentist?Dwight Schrute: Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan’s been bitching out on him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
Dwight Schrute: I will lead you into the black with ferocity!
Grief Counseling:
Dwight Schrute: When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
Dwight Schrute: (to Angela) If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.
Creed: It’s a real shame about Ed huh.
Michael Scott: Yeah. It must really have you thinkin.
Creed: About what?
Michael Scott: The older you get, the bigger the chances you’re gonna die. You knew that.
Creed: Ed was decapitated.
Michael Scott: What?
Dwight Schrute: Really?
Creed: He was drunk as a skunk, he was flying down Route 6. He slides under an 18 wheeler. Pop. Snaps right off.
Michael Scott: Oh my God.
Dwight Schrute: That is the way to go. Instant death. Very Smart.
Creed: You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.
Dwight Schrute: You’re thinking of a chicken.
Creed: What did I say?Dwight Schrute: And how big do you want this robot?
Michael Scott: Lifesize.
Dwight Schrute: Mmm no. Better make it two-thirds. Easier to stop if it turns on us.Dwight Schrute: Look. I gave him a 6 foot extension chord so he can’t chase us.
Michael Scott: That’s perfect.Dwight Schrute: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Pam: If you wanna do something for the funeral…
Dwight Schrute: Yes, please.
Pam: Maybe you could play a song on your recorder.
Dwight Schrute: Excellent.
Pam: Do you have it with you?
Dwight Schrute: Always.Dwight Schrute: I’m sorry! I grew up on a farm! We killed a pig whenever we wanted bacon! And when my grandfather died, we reburied him in an old oil drum! (pause) He would have fit if Michael had just given me another minute.
Initiation:
Dwight Schrute: What is Michael Scott’s greatest fear?
Ryan Howard: Loneliness… maybe women.Dwight Schrute: Just think, that temp agency could have sent you anywhere!
Ryan Howard: I think about that all the time.Dwight Schrute: Michael always says “K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid.” Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.
Dwight Schrute: Just as you have planted your seed into the ground, I will plant my seed into you.
Ryan Howard: I don’t think you realize what you’re saying.Dwight Schrute: Why did Robert Mifflin commit suicide?!
Ryan Howard: He had depression.
Dwight Schrute: No! He hated himself! What… is the DHARMA Initiative?!Dwight Schrute: Will Ryan become a loser, slacker like Jim or will he join the Dwight Army of Champions?
Diwali:
Pam: I just feel kind of tired, you know?
Dwight Schrute: Maybe you’ve got mono.
Pam: Maybe.Dwight Schrute: Diwali is a celebration of the coronation of the God-king Rama, after his epic battle with Ravina, the demon-king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael Scott: All right, all right. This isn’t Lord of the Rings.Dwight Schrute: [interrupting Michael talking about M. Night Shamaylan] I see dead people.
Michael Scott: Okay! Spoiler alert!
Dwight Schrute: He was dead the whole time.
Michael Scott: Just stop it!Branch Closing:
Dwight Schrute: When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael’s book is.. “Something Weird Is Going On…colon…What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story…by Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute.”
The Merger:
Dwight Schrute: What was your mile time?
Toby: About seven.
Dwight Schrute: I could beat that on a skateboard.
Toby: Well, that has wheels.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah, well, my feet don’t. And I could still crush that time.Dwight Schrute: The Japanese camp guards of World War Two always chose one man to kill whenever a batch of new prisoners arrived. I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die. I think I would have been good at choosing the person.
Dwight Schrute: Hello. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced. Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
Andy: Andy Bernard, Regional Director in charge of sales.
Dwight Schrute: So you’ll be reporting to me then.
Andy: On the contrary.
Dwight Schrute: My title has “manager” in it.
Andy: And I’m a director. Which on a film set, is the highest title there is. Do you know anything about film?
Dwight Schrute: I know everything about film. I’ve seen over 240 of them.
Andy: Congratulations.The Convict:
Dwight Schrute: I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.
A Benihana Christmas:
Dwight Schrute: [bringing in a dead goose] I accidentally ran over it. It’s a Christmas miracle!
Dwight Schrute: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim Halpert: Wow. Win-win.
Dwight Schrute: Exactly, thank you, Jim.
Phyllis: I like goose. If it’s already dead, is it so crazy if we eat it?
Creed: That’s crazy. It’s crazy.Dwight Schrute: Pam and Karen! I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning immediately.
Pam: You can’t do that.
Dwight Schrute: As ranking number 3 in this office, I am ordering you to-
Andy: Ummm, I’m number 3.
Dwight Schrute: You’re number 4.
Andy: Yeah, but I’m number 3.
Dwight Schrute: Uh, no. You must turn over to me all Christmas decorations and party paraphernalia immediately. They will be returned to you on January 4th.
Jim Halpert: Okay, I think I can help here.
Dwight Schrute: Okay good, they…
Jim Halpert: As ranking number 2, I am starting a committee to determine the validity of the two committees and I am the sole member of the committee. We’ll act on this now.
Dwight Schrute: Okay, this is stupid.
Jim Halpert: Can you please keep it down? I’m in session. [thinks] I’ve determined this committee is valid.
Dwight Schrute: No, no, no. Wait. Permission to join the Validity Committee?
Jim Halpert: [thinks about it] Permission denied.
Dwight Schrute: Dammit!Back From Vacation:
Michael Scott: I have a special assignment for you.
Dwight Schrute: Who’s the target?
Michael Scott: A sensitive e-mail has been released to the office. It contains a file, a picture, the filename is jamaica-jan-sun-princess.
Dwight Schrute: What’s it of?
Michael Scott: Not important.
Dwight Schrute: I’m not sure, you need to tell me everything or I cannot accept this assignment.
Michael Scott: Ok. Forget it.
Dwight Schrute: Ok, I accept it.Pam [crying by herself}
Dwight Schrute [enters hallway]: Who did this to you? Where is he?
Pam: What, no it’s nothing.
Dwight Schrute [takes off jacket, ties it around his waste]: It’s hot in here.
Pam: Yeah.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah. [give Pam handkerchief]
Pam: Thanks, you don’t need to stay here.
Dwight Schrute: I know. [puts arm around Pam]
Pam [continues crying]
Dwight Schrute: So you’re PMS’ing pretty bad, huh?
Pam [cries more]Have some Office quotes of your own that you would like to share?! Well then share them at SubmitYourQuote.com!
Matt
Here is a great collection of quotes that various patients have had from their doctors. Some of them are funny and some of them just show a scary lack of understanding and information.
Comments confusing withdrawal and underlying diseases.
“The drugs are out of your system so this is the underlying anxiety and depression you’re feeling right now”
“There is no way this is drug withdrawal. The drugs are out of your system. After a month, the underlying diseases show up”
The Insulin Comment.
“It’s like insulin for diabetes – some people need these drugs to function”
Comments confusing addiction, dependency with the need to take benzodiazepines to function
“you’re confusing addiction with just needing the drugs. There’s nothing wrong with needing them to function”
“Often only when you come off the drugs do people realize how much they really needed them”
“It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact – you were working and doing well while on the medications – now you’re not working – you need them to function – nothing wrong with that…”
“so what if you’re ‘dependent’ on the drugs or you can’t stop them quickly. If you were living a normal life, just deal with the side effects. They’re not THAT bad and you’re not functioning right now…”
“It’s not physical dependence if you need the drugs”
Comments that underrate the difficulty of withdrawing from Benzodiazepines
“I’ve seen people go through true drug withdrawal and this isn’t what is going on”
“Getting off the last .25mg of K is just psychological – just do it, you will be fine”
“This isn’t acute withdrawal – just go out and have some fun and you will get better”
Patient “Doctor you must have know that taking me off 3.5mg of K in three weeks was going to make me very ill”
Doctor “I just kind of hoped it wouldn’t”
“You are being oversensitive to these symptoms – just get on with your life and everything will feel better”
“The tranquilizers haven’t done this to you, all you need to do is go out and buy a new red sports car and you will be fine!”
Therapist ” You need to accept that your withdrawal symptoms are 100% psychological or you will get nowhere.” Patient “Benzo withdrawal is mostly a physical phenomenon.” Therapist “You are hopelessly in denial and no amount of therapy will help you.”
Comments that were just wrongPatient “Is K addictive?”
Doctor “Not if you are not taking it for anxiety – you will have no trouble getting off it if you need to.” [v]
“You can go off today (cold turkey). However, I think that a good amount of your nausea and lightheadedness is stress-related, and not entirely attributed to Klonopin withdrawal. Some people have mild withdrawal symptoms for a few weeks” [vi]
“Oh yeah, also no answers from my doctor on the extreme muscle pain I am having in my legs from this withdrawal except, “Its your varicose veins
” Whatever! Morons I tell ya, none of them have a clue.”
Comments about the length of the withdrawal syndrome.“Most people get better after two months — I’m not sure why it’s taking you so long.”
“This is not withdrawal it is out of your system after 30 days”
“Withdrawal only occurs to people that have taken high doses for a long time”
Comments from those who just want to add more drugs“We need to approach this taper from a place of strength — have you tried Effexor?”
“I think this is not just withdrawal from the klonopin, but a cycle of anxiety/stress that requires Lexapro to be broken.”
“Trust me, if you will just take Paxil as I tell you, you will be fine.”
Others Comments“I’m going to have to write ‘medications advised – patient refuses’ for legal and moral reasons”
“Wow, you’re having the worst withdrawal of anyone I’ve ever seen.”
“Trust me, I’m a doctor.”
“Don’t worry you don’t have an addicting type of personality”
And the best: “Huh.”
Do you have something funny your doctor has said? Or something they just should not have said in the first place? Share it wish us!
Matt
“We the unwilling, working for the ungrateful, are doing the impossible. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.” –Unknown
“You spend your whole life believing that you’re on the right track, only to discover that you’re on the wrong train.” –Unknown
“I know they say love is blind, but does it also have to be deaf, dumb, and stupid? –Unknown
“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off.” –Unknown
“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.”– Erica Jong
“The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.” — David Friedman
“He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.” –Unknown
“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” — Lily Tomlin
“Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.” — George Burns
“Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.” — George Bernard Shaw
“The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshiped anything but himself.” — Sir Richard F. Burton
“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.” — Samuel Goldwyn
“Crime does not pay… as well as politics.” — Alfred E. Newman
“Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?” — La Rochefoucauld
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” — Jonathan Swift
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope
“I know Kung Fu, Karate, and 47 other dangerous words.” — Jo Ramos
“Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened.” –Unknown
Have some quotes that you did come up with? Or that you just want to share with the world?? Share them at SubmitYourQuote.com for the whole world to see and enjoy!
Matt
Sit back, stare at your computer for a bit, and enjoy some great computer quotes!
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Emo PhilipsBill Gates is the pope of the personal computer industry. He decides who’s going to build.
Larry EllisonComputer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
Edsger DijkstraComputers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding.
Louis GerstnerComputers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Pablo PicassoComputers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
Andy RooneyComputing is not about computers any more. It is about living.
Nicholas NegroponteData is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom.
Clifford StollHome computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Doug LarsonI am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
Dave BarryI do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Isaac AsimovI think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image.
Stephen HawkingI think it’s fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we’ve ever created. They’re tools of communication, they’re tools of creativity, and they can be shaped by their user.
Bill GatesNever trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.
Steve WozniakPart of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
Isaac AsimovPeople think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They’re wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster.
Adam OsborneSupercomputers will achieve one human brain capacity by 2010, and personal computers will do so by about 2020.
Ray KurzweilThe computer is a moron.
Peter DruckerThe digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing.
Douglas EngelbartThe good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do.
Ted NelsonThe Internet is not just one thing, it’s a collection of things – of numerous communications networks that all speak the same digital language.
Jim ClarkThe real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.
Sydney J. HarrisThink? Why think! We have computers to do that for us.
Jean RostandTo err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert OrbenTreat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
Clifford StollWhat do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers?
Walter F. MondaleWhy is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?
Clifford StollHave some computer quotes of your own? Share them!
Matt
Here are some truly amazing quotes and I believe will lift anyone, who reads them, up. Perseverance has inspired most of the great minds throughout history. So Read, Enjoy and Persevere!
(found on ineedmotivation.com)When the world says, “Give up,” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”
- Author UnknownWhen you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
- Franklin D. RooseveltConsider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
- Josh BillingsFall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese ProverbPerseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.
- Newt GingrichIt’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
- Albert EinsteinPerseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
- Walter ElliottDon’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.
- Author UnknownIf we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.
- Buddhist SayingKeep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.
- Charles F. KetteringMost people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second.
- William JamesDifficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.
- Author UnknownDon’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.
- Earl NightingaleLet me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.
- Louis PasteurIf you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston ChurchillSuccess seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
- William FeatherParalyze resistance with persistence.
- Woody HayesAll right Mister, let me tell you what winning means… you’re willing to go longer, work harder, give more than anyone else.
- Vincent LombardiMany of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas EdisonHow long should you try? Until.
- Jim RohnHave any of your own perseverance quotes? Share them! And let the world read and rate them!
Matt
Grab a bar of chocolate, sit back and enjoy 50 of the world’s finest quotes about our sweet chocolate!
(found on healthdiaries.com)“What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.” – Katherine Hepburn
“There’s nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz
“Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.” – Fernando Pessoa
“The superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain.” – Thomas Jefferson
“I never met a chocolate I didn’t like.” – Deanna Troi, Star Trek: The Next Generation
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
“Caramels are only a fad. Chocolate is a permanent thing.” – Milton Snavely Hershey
“Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits.” – Baron Justus von Liebig
“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.” – George Carlin
“If you are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again! My dear, how will you ever manage?” – Marquise de Sévigné
“Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.” – John Q. Tullius
“My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex.” – Alicia Silverstone
“Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.” – Anonymous
“Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. Such things are not going to affect one?s life … but 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat – these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country.” – Roald Dahl
“Make a list of important things to do today. At the top of your list, put “eat chocolate.” Now, you’ll get at least one thing done today.” – Gina Hayes
“Forget love … I’d rather fall in chocolate!” – Anonymous
“I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.” – John Belushi
“It’s not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let’s face it, far more reliable than a man.” – Miranda Ingram
“Any sane person loves chocolate.” – Bob Greene
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of those pieces.” – Judith Viorst
“Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn’t like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.” – Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet
“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can’t remember what they are.” – Matt Lauer
“All of the evil that people have thrust upon chocolate is really more deserved by milk chocolate, which is essentially contaminated. The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is.” – Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.” – Truman Capote
“The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!” – Terry Moore
“I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.” – John Belushi
“Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world’s perfect food.” – Michael Levine, The Emperors of Chocolate: Inside the Secret World of Hershey and Mars
“It has been shown as proof positive that carefully prepared chocolate is as healthful a food as it is pleasant; that it is nourishing and easily digested… that it is above all helpful to people who must do a great deal of mental work.” – Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
“Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women’s pants.” – Oleg Kiselev
“Chocolate: Here today … Gone today!” – Anonymous
“Life is like a box of chocolates … You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump
“Once in a while I say, ‘Go for it’ and I eat chocolate.” – Claudia Schiffer
“A little chocolate is like a love affair – an occasional sweet release that lightens the spirit. A lot of chocolate is like marriage – it seems so good at first but before you know it you’ve got chunky hips and a waddle-walk.” – Linda Solegato
“What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead.” – George Bernard Shaw
“There’s more to life than chocolate, but not right now.” – Anonymous
“Chocolate makes everyone smile-even bankers.” – Benneville Strohecker, chocolatier
“Chocolate: the poor mans’ champagne.” – Daniel Worona
“Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine.” – Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedán, Spanish army surgeon,1796
“There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.” – Anonymous
“After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.” – Emily Luchetti
“The Spanish ladies of the New World are madly addicted to chocolate, to such a point that, not content to drink it several times each day, they even have it served to them in church.” – Jean-Antheleme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste (1825)
“Nothing is more romantic than chocolate.” – Ted Allen, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
“Chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.” – Anonymous
“Biochemically, love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate.” John Milton, The Devil’s Advocate
“God gave the angels wings, and he gave humans chocolate.” – Anonymous
“Chocolate is the only aromatherapy I need.” – Jasmine Heiler
“The divine drink which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. A cup of this precious drink permits man to walk for a whole day without food.” – Hernando Cortés (1519)
“Chocolate remedies adversity.” – Jareb Teague
“Other things are just food. But chocolate’s chocolate.” – Patrick Skene Catling
Have your own thoughts on chocolate? Share them!
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